On the Subject of Bratty Submissives

I’ve been asked on more than one occasion about my opinions on bratty submissives, which I’ve touched on in previous articles. So I’m going to give a little insight into my thoughts on the matter. Let’s get started.

Warning: Annoyed Rant Ahead

A lot of newbies to this lifestyle either believe, or have been made to believe that a brat is an actual submissive type. So for those you reading this, and consider yourself a part of this ‘I’m a brat, hear me roar’ mindset, let me take a moment to correct you…

It’s not. Please stop. It’s annoying.

Despite what your peers, or some ruddy online group, a BDSM test, or whatever bloody box you ticked on FetLife say, a brat is not a submissive type. A brat is a state of being for a submissive, and thus not an identity. No true Dominant would EVER want to deal with a ‘submissive’ that claims to be a brat in a dynamic of any form. Emphasis on ‘true Dominant’ here.

For you lot that wants to chime in with ‘BDSM is what you make of it’, ‘It’s all good as long as everyone consents to it’, you’re part of the problem, and likely have no idea of what you’re doing, despite how long you’ve been part of this lifestyle — which probably isn’t very long. What I mean to say is… I implore you to shut the fuck up. And you (ugh) ‘brat tamers‘ can shut the fuck up twice. You lot are just as fake as the brats you tame.

Being Bratty has No Place in BDSM Dynamics

Now with my mini-rant out of the way, this isn’t to say that being bratty has absolutely no place in a BDSM dynamic, however. While not something that should be done all the time, brattiness is — and should be — about playfulness and communication, and for many people, the dynamic works because both partners enjoy it.

For example, I have a pretty good sense of humour, and my submissives all understand this. Some of them love to be cheeky at times, or make me laugh.

But they understand that if they push too far, they will most certainly be punished for it. At this point they typically reign themselves in, because they know that I’ll follow through with what I say. So while they don’t test or fight with me much, if ever, they have a pretty good handle on when to play and when not to.

Just to clarify, my submissives are not bratty ALL the time, if much at all — because I wouldn’t tolerate that shit. However, if those submissives were to suddenly become uber-subby submissives, I would likely miss their sense of humour, their being cheeky, or any of the other quirks that I’ve allowed in our dynamic. Like I said in a previous article, I’m not against a little playful fun, but being bratty and being playful are completely different things.

Communication is Still Key, Dammit

Now, when a submissive is being overly bratty, it’s usually because something is going on that is overtaking them, which could be almost anything. But no matter the cause, the effect is typically the same — they begin acting out in a way that is less than admirable. This is where effective communication comes into play.

For you Dominants reading this, if you expect to be respected and obeyed without question just because of a title, won’t get what you’re looking for with these so-called bratty submissives — it won’t work. They won’t get anything out of their relationship with you, because they’ll find you stuffy and pretentious. Furthermore, if you expect to be respected and obeyed without question just because of a title, then you’ve a LOT to learn about what it means to be a Dominant, mate.

In Conclusion

With all this said, as I mentioned above, brattiness is about playfulness and communication. Being bratty for the sake of being bratty is NOT a submissive type, nor does it have anything to do with submission. No matter how you spin it — it just isn’t. It’s nothing more than a way for them to see what exactly they can get away with, which is nothing more than sheer manipulation. If they constantly act like this, my suggestion is to get the hell away from them.

Unless you are attached to them by law, then erm… sorry. Deal with it.