I recently received a question from a submissive who asked what are some good safewords to use? She said that she knows the stoplight colours, but my partner asked her to come up with something different. This is a really good question, and I’ve been asked this more than once. So I figured that I may as well give a response.
Btw, to the person that sent the question: If you’re reading this, I want to commend you two for using safewords, because a LOT of people seems to be totally disregarding them as of late. Okay, let’s get started.
What’s a safeword?
For those of you new to this lifestyle, you may hear the word ‘safeword’ bandied about a bit. A safeword is a word or signal that can change or end a BDSM play session instantly. Anything can be used as a safe word, that isn’t a part of common play speech. For example, choosing a common word like, ‘Stop,’ shouldn’t be a word you would use, because people tend to use the word playfully. The confusion could lead to a play session ending when you don’t really want it to, or someone not realising when you do really want the session to stop.
Do I even need a safeword?
Now, some people have asked me if they really need a safeword, and the answer is yes, you absolutely do. It’s the best way of ensuring you can maximise pleasure without either of you getting hurt — either physically or emotionally. Like I said before, a lot of people seem to be disregarding them or don’t use safewords for one reason or another, but that’s insane, as they are taking an unnecessary risk. And why take that risk when it comes to your health and safety? Let me help you out here — you shouldn’t. See? Easy.
What if you’re gagged?
Some BDSM play session can involve being gagged, using sex toys or other equipment that stops you from being able to speak. So uttering a safeword likely ain’t gonna happen. I would suggest instead agreeing upon some simple hand signals with your partner in advance, as an alternative. If you’re new to wearing a gag, You might want to go for something that’s not too intimidating, like a breathable silicone ball gag. Here’s one that I happen to like, from the awesome peoples at The Stockroom.
You can also check out some of my other favourite sex toy shops here.
Now with all this information out of the way, and to answer the original question, as I mentioned before, anything can be used as a safe word. Honestly, anything from Hercules to Pineapples can be (and has likely been) used as a safe word. Here are some of my favourite safewords my submissives have used in the past.
- Banana
- Papaya
- Apocalypse
- Kirby
- Lawsuit
- Cut
As I said, anything can be used as a safe word. Use your imagination, but don’t make it too complicated – you don’t want to get tongue-tied while getting your arse paddled.
In conclusion
One thing I want you to keep in mind: Respect and consideration go both ways. Safewords aren’t just established signals for a submissive to use. Their partner should honestly pay attention to the words used, no matter how unusual they may be. So if you want to use an unusual word, go for it.
So… What do YOU use as a safeword? Leave a comment – I’d love to know.
Lotus
This is a pretty good one, Alejandra. Thanks for sharing!