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So, you’ve decided to visit your first BDSM dungeon or join a play party? Well, congrats to you! Now, you may be wondering what you should bring to the aforementioned BDSM dungeon or play party, now that you’ve made it this far.
I’ve been asked on a few occasions, particularly by newbies, what I’d recommend for a BDSM toy bag. So, if you’re one of these folks who isn’t sure where to start or how to get started, I’ve got a few suggestions for things to put in your BDSM toy bag. Let’s get started.
Jump Ahead
- Do I Even Need a Toy Bag?
- What Kind of Toy Bag Do I Need?
- When You Get Home / Unpacking Your BDSM Toy Bag
- Extra Tips For Packing Your BDSM Toy Bag
- In Conclusion
Do I Even Need a Toy Bag?
In a word, not really (I know that was two words, shut up). They do, however, help. To that end, if you’re one of the following, you might want to pack up your kinky thingies:
- You’ve decided to go to a BDSM dungeon, a sex club, or a play party. Some of these establishments may have toys available (commonly referred to as ‘house toys’), but patrons are expected (read: should) to bring their own.
- You’re on the road for any reason and want to make sure you can get your proverbial kink on, whilst away from home.
- You’re trying to keep your toys from family members, children, flatmates, or other members of your household. Packing your toys away in a plain, inconspicuous bag or container keeps them hidden away, so no one knows what you’re into. Your five-year-old cousin running around with your big black dildo flopping about in their hands is the last thing you want. I’ve seen it happen (not my dildo).
One of the main reasons you’d have a toy bag is because it helps you organise your bedroom or home. I’m a HUGE fan of organisation, and I keep the majority of my toys in a few hidden-in-plain sight spots. However, whether I go to a dungeon or travel in general, I normally bring my things in a duffel bag.
Another reason you’d have a toy bag is so your paddles, cuffs, rope and such aren’t all over the bloody place — especially in someone else’s space. Now, if this doesn’t bother you, or you’re not okay with the idea of packing up all your crap, then don’t do it. It’s a good way to get a LOT of judgy eye rolls in your general direction. Okay, they’ll be directed at YOU.
What Kind of Toy Bag Do I Need?
Don’t know which bag to carry your BDSM gear in? The answer is actually rather simple, to be honest: do what works best for you. However, I have a few options for you. Now, these aren’t all something I’ve used, but they’re things I’ve seen other people carry their toys in:
- Duffel bags
- A wheeled suitcase with an extending handle
- A large briefcase
- Plastic cases
- Bags for overnight travel
- Toy bags designed specifically for sex toys
See? You have a TON of options, and you don’t even need to use a bloody bag if you don’t want. Basically, pick the bag, tote, case, or anything else most convenient for you to carry and best fits your toys. Bags and other carriers with side pockets are particularly useful because they can hold small accessories or toys such as nipple clamps, clothespins, and other small items.
When I travel, I keep my rope collection in small bags, and my floggers, paddles, and other toys in a medium-sized duffel bag. I know someone who uses the upright suitcase I mentioned. In any case, don’t overthink the toy bag you want to use, and you’ll be okay. In this article, I mention a few stores which might help you out a bit.
Okay, at this point you might be thinking, ‘Great, now I’ve gotten the damned bag, what the hell do I put in it?’ Well, let’s get into it.
1. Your Favourite BDSM Toys
If you’re bringing your toy bag to a kink event (dungeon, party, etc. ), you should bring anything you love and use the most. This is most likely something you’re familiar with, at ease with, and confident with using when others are watching (and they will).
If you’re a newbie, you might not have a favourite toy that you feel confident with using just yet, and that’s totally fine. Practice at home, and if you do decide to perform in public, take it easy or don’t play at all if it doesn’t feel right. I totally get that you’re eager to try things out, but word travels quickly in most communities — especially about unsafe people — so it’s insanely easy to have people not want to play with you if you’ve no clue what you’re doing.
Now, I can’t tell you what to bring, whether it’s floggers, paddles, rope, or anything else. Because the things I like to bring with me, may not be necessarily be something you’re into, or even know how to use. And it’s honestly more about what YOU enjoy playing with, so the things you have the most fun with should be what you put in your bag.
2. Something You Want to Learn More About
This would be a unique addition to your BDSM toy collection. In most cases, it’s likely something you already own because you’re interested in it, but aren’t sure if you’re ready to play with it yet. Feel free to bring it with you if you’re going to a BDSM dungeon. because in most dungeons and play parties, there is typically some socialising going on, and sometimes there is someone amongst the socialisers who can answer your questions or teach you what they know.
However, don’t assume anyone WILL teach or show you anything, because people in dungeons are a superstitious, cowardly lot…
Wait. That’s criminals. My bad. If you didn’t get the reference… You’re dead to me.
Anyway, it’s a good idea to make sure you’re ready if the occasion to ask a few questions arises. Finally, be open and honest about your experience. People can tell if you’re full of shit about your knowledge and expertise, and like I mentioned before (and thus bears repeating), but word travels quickly in most communities, so it’s really easy for people to refuse to play with you if you don’t know what you’re doing.
3. Safety Gear
You should definitely include any safety equipment that comes with the toy you’re playing with. For example, some impact players may have a lotion or first-aid kit on hand in case of unintended skin damage. Most rope enthusiasts carry safety knives or scissors with them at all times. People into needle play need something to keep their sharp objects clean, and even something to cover their tips. Wax players might have something to help with minor burns.
While many play spaces will likely have first aid kits or other safety equipment available, don’t rely on their having them. It is YOUR responsibility to ensure the safety of both yourself and your partner.
4. Kinky Clothing
Now, you may now have certain clothing in mind for a specific scene, or something you always wear. However, most locations you’ll likely visit (well, mostly in the United States, because… prudes) may have a ‘wear vanilla street clothes to the door’ dress code.
For some of you, this may mean having to wear these things under your street clothes or bringing them with you — in which case, your toy bag could be an excellent place for this.
In most BDSM dungeons, there is a separate changing area from the bathroom. If the one you’re visiting doesn’t have one, the bathroom is always a decent choice. Before simply entering an unknown room at a private play party, ask the host where you can change. This is a good way to not be invited to the next one.
5. Aftercare Supplies
Finally, aftercare is a pretty important thing for play sessions, for a lot of reasons. However, there are a few factors involved in the need for aftercare supplies:
- Is aftercare something you provide after a scene? If you’re a bottom or submissive, is it something you even want?
- Are you a bottom or submissive who negotiates play whilst in BDSM spaces and want to make sure you get the best aftercare for you?
- Are you playing with a frequent play partner, and are familiar with their aftercare needs? This also applies to new partners.
- Do you want to be ready, even if none of these situations apply to you?
What you have in your bag for aftercare depends on a number of things, including the partner you’re playing with, the type of play, individual needs and wants, etc. A blanket or a pillow, music, a favourite food, or a bloody bottle of water are all examples. Whatever it is, make sure you have everything you believe you’ll need in your bag.
When You Get Home / Unpacking Your BDSM Toy Bag
Be sure to clean out your bag when you get home from the dungeon, play party, travelling, or any other time you’ve used the items in it. If you just use your toy bag for events or travelling, make sure to put your toys away as soon as possible when you come home. If anything is sweaty, has come into contact with genitals or orifices, or is otherwise unclean, clean them straight away.
You should also inspect your toys on a regular basis, throwing away anything that is broken, too worn or damaged to be safe, or has any other flaws that would make it unsafe to use.
Extra Tips For Packing Your BDSM Toy Bag
- When you pack floggers, or any toy with strands, roll them in a towel to keep the falls or strands from knotting whilst travelling.
- You can roll up multiple floggers in one large towel creating more space in your bag. Here’s a bag you might be interested in using.
- When travelling with, or transporting rope, be sure to tie or wrap it in a way it doesn’t get tangled in your bag.
Here’s a bonus tip: If you’re not sure what could go wrong in a scene or what safety equipment you’ll need, I recommend doing some research and educating yourself before you decide to play in public. You’ll probably be alright with something as easy as a bare-handed spanking because it doesn’t require much knowledge. Attempting rope bondage and tying your partner up, or doing something that could draw blood, on the other hand, does.
I’ve seen people dropped onto their heads, or severe bruising from bondage not done correctly, and I’ve seen people with cuts that didn’t heal properly from whips being improperly used. Honestly, do yourself and anyone potentially involved a favour, and know before you go.
In Conclusion
When you’re ready to pack your BDSM toy bag for the first time, hopefully, this article helps you out a bit. For those of you who have their toy bag together, what do you use to carry your toys, and what are some things you always include in your toy bag? Let me know in the comments below.
While you may be eager to start putting your epic BDSM toy bag together, keep in mind that going slowly is the name of the game. I’ve quite a few toys now for what I do — but I’ve spent a LONG time putting it together. So don’t be in a hurry, there’s honestly no rush.
Spend a bit of time figuring out what you do and don’t like before you go spending all your money on toys and such. Especially since most places you’ll likely be shopping from don’t allow returns, because… Eeeewww.
Anyway, you can have just as much fun with a simple wooden paddle. Other toys, like certain whips, floggers, and other toys, take a significant amount of time to become proficient in. Look online for cheap to make BDSM toys. Best of luck to you, and have fun!
Great article as usual. Very informative. Thank you for posting. I really enjoyed it.
Thank you Angie! I’m glad you like it! 😀