Mentoring is a good way for a new submissive to learn about this lifestyle. In mentoring, an experienced person is chosen to help guide the new submissive through the early stages of this lifestyle.
Newcomers have found themselves involved with something that is so vastly different from vanillas, that they are often overwhelmed with what they see. Since there are so many predators who seek to prey upon the vulnerability and ignorance of new submissives, it is helpful to have an experienced individual act as a protector. Of course, this pertains more to submissives rather than Dominants. Though I won’t personally mentor a Dominant, the concept of mentoring is helpful to both.
Being Experienced and Trustworthy
As I mentioned, a mentor needs to have experience. That is the first thing that should be sought out. I am amazed at how many submissives choose a mentor who has only a few months or a year of experience. That person is NOT a mentor. Instead, that is a person who is most likely deceitfully preying upon the submissive. A mentor is there to pass along knowledge gained by their being part of our lifestyle for a number of years — possibly decades. Thus, it is crucial that one be around for this amount of time.
The second thing that a mentor must be is trustworthy. Here is where the situation can enter a grey area very quickly. It is common for a new submissive to ‘fall for’ their mentor. This is a person who is going to act in a manner that resembles a Dominant or Master. However, he is not that person. The line between owning a submissive and being a mentor to one is clear. There is a degree of trust that is handed over to a mentor in the same way a therapist or counsellor is given trust. To betray that by personally involving oneself moves into the area of deceit.
This means that the mentor needs to understand the limits completely. One who crosses the line is the lowest form of scum there is. I have more respect for someone who is upfront and obvious about their intentions. Anyone with any intelligence can pick them up instantly. Noticing predators under the guise of mentoring is more difficult. So, you need to be wary of these people.
In Conclusion
Mentoring is advantageous in that it allows one to learn about this lifestyle without making a commitment to a particular person. Also, I always suggest having more than one mentor so as to alleviate the possibility of one crossing the line and taking advantage. Plus, it is always helpful to have a couple of viewpoints about things.
With all of this said, if you are a new submissive, consider a mentor before rushing headfirst into a relationship. It could be a way to stop you making many of the mistakes that are commonplace today.
Would this mentor be a dom or a sub?
A mentor for a submissive could likely be both.
Where can I find a Mentor being a Sub myself.
Most people around me have ill intentions or lack of respect for this type of art
Where would I find a mentor?
Do mentors have sexual relationships with their mentorees ?
I’m sure some do. However, the question is are they SUPPOSED to?
The answer to that is a definitive no. Because MENTORS DON’T BLOODY DO THAT. And someone that is truly a mentor knows this.
Anyone claiming otherwise is likely just trying to get into your pants.
I am a submissive, and new to all of this. I have a Dom/Daddy. He proposed to me two months ago on the 15th but recently had a conversation with him he was telling me about his best friend that he’s been mentoring for about 3 years now and that she did something that really upset him the other day so she went to him and pulled out of belt for him to spank her so I was wondering is that how it’s supposed to go or no because he says that she knows that we’re engaged and he’s just a mentor to her she’s never been to call it by him so to me I feel disrespected by him and her because I feel like he should have said something to her about that.