So What’s Pistanthrophobia, Anyway?

Most of us have experienced some kind of disappointment or betrayal in our relationships at some point in our lives. And I’m sure you already know this, but it bears repeating – it takes a long time to earn trust, and VERY little to lose it.

Now in itself, trust is not an easy thing to give someone – at ALL. But if you also suffer from Pistanthrophobia, it can be damn-near impossible. Want to know more? Let’s get started.

So What’s Pistanthrophobia, Anyway?

Pistanthrophobia comes from the Greek words Pistos which means ‘Trust’, and Anthrophobia which literally means ‘fear of humans’ (If you were wondering, Anthropos means ‘human’ and Phóbos means Fear).

Pistanthrophobia is characterised by an irrational fear of building an intimate and personal relationship with others. Past traumas or harmful experiences carry so much weight, that their fears outweigh the desire to trust others.

People with this condition typically feel as if everyone sooner or later will disappoint or betray them. They become extremely distrustful. They’re afraid of the idea that aspects of their past may be repeated, and they don’t want to let that happen.

Behaviours of Pistanthrophobia

The effects of Pistanthrophobia are not limited to emotions, but can also extend to other areas of their lives.
People that suffer from Pistanthrophobia replay similar phrases of questions in their heads over and over. These phrases include, ‘Why does this always happen to me’? ‘I’m never going to be happy’. ‘I’m always going to be alone’.

Their self-suggestion can lead them to become both antisocial and isolated. Some of these behaviours include:

• Avoiding activities that involve close interpersonal contact.
• Becoming withdrawn because they fear criticism. There’s an exaggerated fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed.
• Not attending events or meetings in which they have to meet with strangers they don’t know if they will like.
• Not taking any risks that could endanger their emotions. They are very reluctant to engage with other people. They feel dread when it comes to opening up to others. For that reason, sometimes they seem solitary, introverted, reserved, and even like ‘hermits’.
• Trying to avoid intimate relationships due to their fear of being disappointed again. They don’t want to find a relationship again because of their panic that their trust will be misplaced again.

Pistanthrophobia and Intuition

Normally, difficulty in trusting others starts with distrust in oneself. This distrust directly affects the intuition or sixth sense that dictates whether a person is trustworthy or not.

Now, people with Pistanthrophobia don’t lack intuition per se – they simply don’t trust it. People without Pistanthrophobia don’t always trust their intuition either, they don’t panic when they’re unsure. They typically trust their judgement when they’ve nothing else to go on.

This lack of confidence in our intuition often decreases our confidence in other skills, like defending ourselves if someone attacks us. Thus, because we think we are defenceless, we’ll become even more distrustful. In this way, the phobia cycles into a larger problem.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the more emotionally involved the person with Pistanthrophobia becomes with the other person – these things typically all become worse. They want to give love and trust but feel like they can’t. Therefore, along with distrust, they also feel disappointment, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, or generalised shame.

So building relationships becomes a very difficult task. It’s a bit like trying to climb a bloody mountain if you’ve vertigo. The fear of falling increases with each step taken, until you feel you aren’t even moving (you probably aren’t. Just saying).

That’s why many people with Pistanthrophobia tend to cut off relationships abruptly. They can no longer continue climbing, or deepen the relationship.

In Conclusion

If after reading this you feel you’ve Pistanthrophobia, believe me – you’re not alone. In a future article, I’ll make some therapeutic suggestions if you’re interested, which will hopefully allow you to face this better. I hope this sheds a bit of light on the subject for you.